~*Yo Mama...Jokes*~

Yo mama so fat...

• when she wears red she looks like the Kool-Aid Man.
• when god saud let there be light, he told yo mama to move her fat ass.
• when she wear a Malcom-X t-shirt helicopters try to land on her.
• when she lies on the beach no one else gets sun.
• when her beeper goes off people think she's backing up.
• people jog around her for excercise.
• when she went to the movies she sat next to everyone.
• you have to roll over twice to get off her.
• she was floating in the ocean and Portugal claimed her as the new world.
• when she has sex she has to give directions.
• she goes to a restaurant, looks at the menu and says "Okay!"
• when she wears a yellow raincoat, people said "Taxi!"
• she puts lipstick on with a paint roller.
• the highway patrol made her wear "Caution! Wide Turns
• when she sits around the house, she SITS AROUND THE HOUSE!
• she's got more Chins than a Chinese phone book!
• her senior pictures had to be arial views!
• she's on both sides of the family.
• everytime she walks in high heels she strikes oil.
• everytime she wears high heels she comes back with flip-flop.
• she fell and made the Grand Canyon!
• when she hauls ass her friends have to help.
• she gets runs in her jeans.
• she has to buy two airline tickets.
• the Aids quilt wouldn't cover her.
• she stands in two time zones.
• when she goes to an all you can eat buffet they have to install speed bumps.
• when she sits on the beach Greenpeace shows up and tries to tow her back into the ocean.
• that she would have been in E.T. but when she rode the bike across the moon she caused an eclipse.
• we went to the drive-in and didn't have to pay cause we dressed her as a Chevrolet.
• when she steps on a scale it reads "One at a time please."
• when she gets on a scale it says to be continued.
• when she gets on a scale it says "No live-stock please."
• the last time she saw 90210 was when she was standing on a scale.
• when she sits or stands she's the same height.
• When she plays hopscotch she goes New York, L.A., Chicago...
• She has her own area code.

Yo mama so stupid...

• she brought a cup to the movie juice.
• she sold the car foe gas money.
• she sits on the T.V and watches the couch.
• she bought a videocamera and recorded cable T.V. shows at home.
• that under "Education" on her job application she wrote "Hooked on Phonics"
• she asked me what kind of jeans I had on and I said "guess" so she said levis.
• when she saw NC-17(under 17 not admitted) she went home and got 16 friends.
• she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order.
• she bought a solar powered flashlight.
• she thinks a quarterback is a refund.
• she ran into a parked car.
• she sold her car to buy brand new tires.
• she thinks she's smart.
• and fat her waist is bigger than her IQ
• she looked in a box of Cheerios and said "Look doughnut seeds."

Yo mama so ugly...

• her parents had to tie a porkchop around her neck to get the dog to play with her.
• when she joined an ugly contest they said, "Sorry no proffessionals."
• when she was born her mama said "What a treasure" and her dad said "Yeah lets go bury it."
• her mom had to be drunk to breast feed her.
• she had to get her baby drunk to breast feed it.
• they push her face in the dough to make gorilla cookies.
• they filmed "Gorillas In The Mist" in her shower.
• she gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween.
• when she walks down the street in September people say, "Damn is it Halloween already?"
• two burglars were robbing her house she yelled "Rape!" They yelled "NO!"
• yo father takes her to work so he don't have to kiss her goodbye.
• she could make an onion cry.
• when she looks in the mirror she says "What an ugly person!"
• When she was born the doctor just slapped her parents.

Yo mama so old...

• I told her to act her own age and she died.
• she has Jesus' beeper number.
• her social security number is 1!
• when god said let there be light she hit the switch.
• that when she was in school there was no history class.
• she owes Jesus three bucks!
• she's in Jesus' yearbook.
• her birth certificate is expired.
• she knew Burger King while he was still a prince.
• she was a waitress at the Last Supper.
• she ran track with dinosaurs.
• she was around when the dead sea was sick.
• she sat behind jesus in the third grade.

Yo mama so poor...

• when I saw her kicking a can I asked her what she was doing and she said moving.
• she can't afford to pay attention.
• when I ring the doorbell I hear the toilet flush.
• when she goes to KFC she has to lick other people's fingers.
• when I ring the doorbell she says "DING!"
• she went to McDonalds and put a milkshake o layaway.
• your family ate cereal with a fork to save milk.
• her face is on front of a food stamp.
• she was in K-Mart buying Hefty bags I said "What ya doin?" she said "Buying luggage."
• she waves around a popsicle stick and calls it air conditioning.
• burglars break into her house and leave her money.